King of Clubs
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King of Clubs
Because it’s more than just quirky humour
Meet Big Bubba, an Elvis impersonator (no correlation with way cooler Bubba Ho-Tep) who built a huge crazy golf emporium, nearby the hot and dry Nevada desert, where 90+ courses are ready to be played against failed actors posing as mini-golf professionals “in stupid costumes”. That’s the premise of King of Clubs, a sports-puzzle-action game who tries everything but fails everywhere. Here’s our review…
Making a golf game on the Wii nowadays it’s a no-brainer because of the appeal of the Wii Remote. Make it work is another thing. If EA and Nintendo were able to bring some good golf mechanics to Tiger Woods and Wii Sports’ Golf mode, Oxygen Interactive fails miserably with this obvious port from the PS2 to the Wii (more on that later). Let’s start with the controls since it’s the most important thing to deliver in a golf game on the Wii (okay it’s not golf, it’s mini-golf…but still it isn’t an excuse).
So yes, the controls… Let me put it this way: it’s as painful as being punched in the lower parts by a raging midget. Here’s how a putt must be taken in King of Clubs according to the quick tutorial at the beginning of the game after a long, long loading time: you press the A button to make a bar appear that shows the strength of your shot. Moving the Wiimote backwards increases the power and holding down the A button holds it, or pressing B cancels it. Moving the Wiimote forward then completes the putt.
Got it?
Here’s the thing, it was easier to write than actually do it. Most of the time, accessing the power bar by moving the Wiimote backwards doesn’t respond at all. The “A Button” pressing and the holding was the only thing who worked correctly…thank god. But the rest wasn’t responsive at all. I even had to use 2 different Wiimotes, a bunch of fully recharged batteries in order to make sure it wasn’t me that was the problem. Yes, the controls in King of Clubs are dreadful and uneasy. You keep swinging, swinging and swinging…until your arm falls down and your anger grows. And it’s too bad because the game does has a lot to offer: 96 levels, 10 multi-level challenges, you can customize the colour, pattern and trail of your ball, it has a choice of matchplay or strokeplay for up to four players and you can even personalize the sounds made by your character’s club and balls. It’s a shame everything goes to hell because of the poor controls, brainless and unfunny presentation and horrible, horrible graphics, which is my next subject…
Did you ever watch a badly compressed YouTube video? I mean sequences filmed with a cheap video camera and then compressed to its maximum. Well, this is how King of Clubs looks…at least that’s how I can describe it. It’s has this grainy and blurry movie look…really weird. Early in the review, I was saying that King of Club for the Wii feels like a bad PS2 port. I have the impression that the game was taken from the PS2 disc and thrown in a Wii disc with a patch to use the Wii Remote. The game is also offered on PC, DS and PSP…though I promised myself to never play King of Clubs again, I’m really curious to see how the PSP version of the game plays out.
Even the soundtrack is bad. I can’t really pinpoint the music style of the soundtrack (sounds like a country track or whatnot) but it’s boring and gets on the nerves pretty quickly, especially when it’s the same song, over and over. Still, you can buy extra tracks and get rid of that irritating song…but sadly, it doesn’t change anything.
Conclusion
Personally, I hate to bash on a game. It’s definitely not my type…but when a game is botched, broken, and unfunny, it’s my job to write about it no matter how painful and bad it is. There’s no need for me to explain what the final verdict on the game is but just in case: stay away from this game.
And Oxygen, if you’re reading this, we know that you can do better than this...
Pros
- 90+ courses to play
- Lots of customization
Cons
- Controls are unresponsive
- Graphics are ugly
- Unfunny characters
- Feels like a bad PS2 port (which I’m sure it is)
- Repetitive and poor soundtrack
Final Verdict
Here's a small guide to help you understand our evaluation of games.
PRESENTATION GRADE
Can be from the game's box to the contents of the booklet, and even the game introduction. (Intro, menus, options, etc)
GRAPHIC GRADE
Up to what point the graphics have been worked on my the developper. The design type, the effort used for textures and environments, as well as animations and framerate.
AUDIO GRADE
Is the soundtrack a good match to the game's style, he ambient sounds keeping with the gameplay and the sound effects clear and convincing?
GAMEPLAY GRADE
Placement of the controls and the inferface that the player with be using during the game.
REPLAY VALUE GRADE
The most important factor in the evaluation of a game. It identifies the lifespan of the game and the fun of coming back again and again.
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