Crazy Taxi

Crappy Taxi?

Posted 2 years ago By - Jay Acevedo

Let’s go back in time...to June 2010 to be more precise. SEGA revealed their plans to bring at least 20 Dreamcast ports to both XBLA and PSN. The first two games announced were Sonic Adventure (we all know how that turned out to be) and Crazy Taxi. While we’re still waiting on the next batch of ports, I was more than happy to meet-up with Crazy Taxi once again, after all these years. Not having a functional Dreamcast system, the idea of picking up customers in glorious HD to the sounds of The Offspring was more than interesting...it was wet-dreaming.

Sadly, after a few hours of play, I’ve realized that SEGA completely forgot how important this franchise truly is to the eyes of gamers. To be released the way its now available on both PSN and XBLA, it’s both heartbreaking and unacceptable.

Despite running at 720p, having all the modes from the original game and the gameplay mechanics left untouched, this remake is simply horrendous and soulless. Neither the character models nor cities have not received a single texture update, the menus are ultra simplistic and down right appalling. The dialog sounds like they were recorded underwater and the music....oh the music...no Offspring, no Bad Religion *sigh*. The complete original soundtrack that made Crazy Taxi such a joy to play was totally removed in favor of a new...and incredibly dull one. Sure, you can use custom soundtracks but seriously, why would someone buy Crazy Taxi to listen to Soulja Boy??? It’s like playing a Star Wars without the John Williams score.

In today’s gaming world, releasing straight ports with a simple HD refresh doesn’t cut it. I had the same problem with Namco’s Soul Calibur XBLA release back in the day. When a video game company decides to re-release an all-time classic, as gamers, we want to feel the love, not just a lazy port with the idea to bank the easy buck abusing of our nostalgic feelings. It’s even worse if you re-release something that isn’t even a complete port. If young gamers won’t feel the need to spend money on this game after trying the demo, how does SEGA expect those who grew up on Crazi Taxi to spend $10 on it? When I look back, Hydro Thunder Hurricane (another classic Dreamcast game available on XBLA that curiously wasn’t published by SEGA earlier this year) was beautiful...and trust me, it wasn’t that pretty either. But compared to this, its way better.

Conclusion

If Crazy Taxi is an indication of how SEGA wants to treat us gamers in terms of Dreamcast ports on XBLA from now on, might as well stop the presses and leave them alone, in the past, where we can still give them props for the fond nostalgia. It’s like they’ve reached out to my chest, pulled out my heart, grabbed a hammer and smashed it into million pieces. There’s no way anyone should spend any kind of money, or even waste bandwidth to download the demo, for this absolute load of disappointment.

How I hate you right now, SEGA.